Most of us had never seen a sober redneck before, and we have the Reagan Landslide to testify that none of us ever wants to see one again. It was a horrifying apparition. And ever since Jimmy Carter, all of us rednecks have had to be very careful to be drunk rednecks lest we turn into some kind of awful creature with big buck teeth and a State Department full of human-rights yahoos.
P. J. O'RourkeNothing bad is going to happen to us. If we get fired, it's not failure; its a midlife vocational reassessment.
P. J. O'RourkeWhat would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention.
P. J. O'RourkeI was told to hand over my disposable lighter, to prevent, I suppose, any threat of "Do what I say or I'll light this Marlboro and you'll all die - in thirty years due to inhalation of secondhand smoke."
P. J. O'RourkeTo grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze.
P. J. O'RourkePolitics is the business of getting power and privilege without possessing merit. A politician is anyone who asks individuals to surrender part of their liberty - their power and privilege - to State, Masses, Mankind, Planet Earth, or whatever. This state, those masses, that mankind, and the planet will then be run by ... politicians.
P. J. O'Rourke