Haitians weren't screwed-up, but everything political, intellectual, and material around them is.

[Al] Franken is left-wing and funny. He's a pretty good political humorist.

Personally, I believe a rocking hammock, a good cigar, and a tall gin-and-tonic is the way to save the planet.

It is a popular delusion that the government wastes vast amounts of money through inefficiency and sloth. Enormous effort and elaborate planning are required to waste this much money.

Good manners are a combination of intelligence, education, taste and style mixed together so that you don't need any of those things.

Oh, God. The Sixties are coming back. Well I've got a 12-gauge double-barreled duck gun chambered for three-inch Magnum shells. And - speaking strictly for this retired hippie and former pinko beatnik - if the Sixties head my way, they won't get past the porch steps. They will be history. Which, for chrissakes, is what they're supposed to be.

Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.