Chicken pot pie--those are my three favorite things.

I'm a sports fan sometimes when I'm drunk. All my friends gamble on sports so whenever we watch a game, everyone's pissed off at the end! Sometimes the commentators speak so quickly, I think you've got to be on drugs to listen to them.

I like football. I like baseball. When the pitcher and the batter start fighting, that's the best.

Chicken pot pie--those are my three favorite things.

Everyone goes "every comedian does Arnold Schwarzenegger". Yes, they do; but do they do Arnold Schwarzenegger in Brokeback Mountain?

I love how the soccer guys just fall when they get kicked and go baby crying.They try to explain to the referee like he's their mother: "Wah! Did you see what he did?" Then they get back to playing soccer again.

Don LaFontaine passed away. He passed away from a blood clot in the lung. It was unexpected. It just happened. I was just blown away by it. He was like, "Pablo, I've got something in my lungs, I don't know what it is." And I said, "What is it?" And he says, "I don't know, it just keeps hurting." And then he left me a message saying, "I'll come see you when I get out of here." And it never happened.