I'm a sports fan sometimes when I'm drunk. All my friends gamble on sports so whenever we watch a game, everyone's pissed off at the end! Sometimes the commentators speak so quickly, I think you've got to be on drugs to listen to them.

I voted for Arnold Schwarzenegger 'cause I figured he can go back in the future. Put that in the act.

I'm a sports fan sometimes when I'm drunk. All my friends gamble on sports so whenever we watch a game, everyone's pissed off at the end! Sometimes the commentators speak so quickly, I think you've got to be on drugs to listen to them.

I like football. I like baseball. When the pitcher and the batter start fighting, that's the best.

I heard the rumours,but the only blond people here [in Sweden] are the guys. And they all look like Ellen DeGeneres. It's Ellen DeGeneres world, and it's all guys! It's now switched.

Everyone goes "every comedian does Arnold Schwarzenegger". Yes, they do; but do they do Arnold Schwarzenegger in Brokeback Mountain?

Sometimes I become the comedy jukebox. I read the emails, people give me requests.The shows are just amazing; they're packed with people and they're so much fun to do.