Robot Wars is not a sport. Guys just play with remote controls. Now, if they were wired up and got an electrical shock each time their robot got hammered, then, yes, it would be a sport.

Let's be honest. We're not Manchester United or Arsenal, are we?

I'm very happy to have moved to West Ham, because I can play for a better team than Sheffield Wednesday.

A lion can't stay in a cage. A lion has to be on the pitch.

I am a fascist, not a racist.

David James is a cretin.

Doping in English football is restricted to lager and baked beans with sausages. After which the players take to the field, belching and farting. English football culture is one of pure, intense competition, and that's why I have always preferred it to Italy.