I would be so scared if I was a gay guy...you'll, like, die of AIDS.

By channeling my inner heiress, I created a new opportunity for young heiresses.

First I wanted to be a veterinarian. And then I realized you had to give them shots to put them to sleep, so I decided I'd just buy a bunch of animals and have them in my house instead.

My life is, like, really, really fun.

[When a John McCain political campaign video that used her image] That wrinkly white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which means I'm running for President. So thanks for the endorsement white-haired dude, and I want America to know I'm like, totally ready to lead.

If I was a President I want to put an end to only large financial contributors, lobbyists, inside-the-Beltway fat cats, and corporate bigwigs getting to sleep in the Lincoln Bedroom. I will keep that room open only for people for whom it is too late to drive after attending one of my secret-underground-bunker-after-hours parties.

I'm not like that smart. I like, forget stuff all the time.