What's a soup kitchen?

I won't have a cabinet as a President; I will have a closet. A giant walk-in closet with all styles of advisers, like Michael Kors, Kanye West, Diane von Furstenberg, Naughty by Nature, Stephen Hawking, Madonna, Karl Lagerfeld, and, of course, Tinkerbell.

I'd imagine my wedding as a fairy tale... huge, beautiful and white.

So many people have bad intentions, so many girls want to hang out [with me] to be someone. I weed those people out of my life. I call them hungry tigers.

A life without orgasms is like a world without flowers.

At parties, everyone always thinks I'm drinking, but actually I rarely drink. I live on energy drinks, basically. I love vitamin water.

Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.