When Paris has to pee, Paris has to pee!

Well, it hurts my feelings because the person that I read about sometimes in these gossip magazines is not the person who I am. So I don't want, you know, my fans to think that's how I am.

I take my dog Tinkerbell seriously. I take my job seriously. But I don't take myself all that seriously.

All it takes is one drink to mess with the way you drive - it clouds your judgment and slows your reflexes. Don't take any chances. It just isn't worth it.

When you're in the public eye, it's wrong to cheat on someone, unless you're very careful. If you're normal and no one's going to know, then do it.

What's a soup kitchen?

[When a John McCain political campaign video that used her image] That wrinkly white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which means I'm running for President. So thanks for the endorsement white-haired dude, and I want America to know I'm like, totally ready to lead.