I can't say that I ever abided nerd stereotypes: I was never alone or felt outcast.

I grew up in such a featureless, personality-less suburb. There was nothing to push against.

I look pretty nondescript. I don't go out of my way to... I don't express my personality with my clothes, with my car or my, you know, house. I express with my personality; so as far as what I wear - I don't really care about that.

People will find transformation and transcendence in a McDonald's hash brown if it's all they've got.

I think most comedians go through that (period), where you have to change or evolve. You don't want to just keep doing variations on the same themes. And, besides, it would look kinda creepy for a guy my age to be doing stuff that, like, a 20-year-old would do. 'Yeah, this is bullshit!' It's, like, 'Really? You don't have bigger concerns at this point in your life?'

I would always rather shoot for something unique and fail than do a script because I feel like they're hitting all the right mainstream beats.

Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.