I grew up in such a featureless, personality-less suburb. There was nothing to push against.

If you actually do cold readings, it's very close to how people actually talk, because you're experiencing these thoughts anew every moment, and trying to make them come out coherently.

I'm grateful that I had that uphill battle for 10 years of going onstage and having nobody know who I was, because you have to win them over. I have a lot of friends who were stand-ups, and they just stopped after a while, because they didn't like that battle. And then they would get on a sitcom and get visible and get back into it, because the audience was just way easier on them. That's why they're okay stand-ups, but they're never going to be great, because they don't have that presence. They never built those muscles up.

Growing up there are always those kids who are only happy when they are making someone else upset. That is unfortunately just how some people are. Some people are just born with bad wiring.

I never said that movies were struggling behind TV. I'm just saying that movies have a better creative cache.

I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out if me with steel pipes.

Any comedian who tells you how dark and dangerous they are, they're not dark and dangerous.