Even if you're popular, there are times when you just feel like you're not a part of things.

I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out if me with steel pipes.

Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you.

In my mind, I was always a comedian who was going to branch into writing.

I grew up in such a featureless, personality-less suburb. There was nothing to push against.

You just do as many shows as you can to hone what it is you're working on.

Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"?