I'm grateful that I had that uphill battle for 10 years of going onstage and having nobody know who I was, because you have to win them over.

I'm not familiar with the metric system.

When you act, you're being asked to pretend in a very rigid, controlled environment. It's very un-childlike. So a lot of times, when you put kids in that situation, you hope they have a better support system outside of what they're doing to bring them back to reality at the end of the day and to keep them well-rounded.

I love the beginning of Magnolia, the thing about the dealer. That scene is genius. Brilliantly acted.

If the victories we create in our heads were let loose on reality, the world we know would drown in blazing happiness.

The Kentucky Fried Chicken corporation made a bobble head of me and sent it to my management. No card, nothing.

Any comedian who tells you how dark and dangerous they are, they're not dark and dangerous.