Life is so very simple when you have no facts to confuse you.

People will admit to arson and mayhem sooner than no sense of humor.

This wild emaciated look appeals to some women, though not to many men, who are seldom seen pinning up a Vogue illustration in a machine shop.

You're not supposed to cuss when you're an old lady, and just when there's so much more to cuss about.

travel never made a bore interesting; it only makes for a well-traveled bore, in the same way coffee makes for a wide-awake drunk. In fact, the more a bore travels, the worse he gets. The only advantage in it for his friends and family is that he isn't home as much.

Molded salads are best served in situations where they have little or no competition ... Like television, gelatin is too often a vehicle for limp leftovers that couldn't make it anywhere else.

As millions of women have done before me, I pulled domesticity over my head like a blanket and found I was still cold.