Life is so very simple when you have no facts to confuse you.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

Some people collect paperweights, or pre-Columbian figures, or old masters, or young mistresses, or tombstone rubbings, or five-minute recipes, or any of a thousand other things... My own collection is sunrises; and I find that they have their advantages. Sunrises are usually handsome, they can't possibly be dusted, and they take only a little room, so long as it has a window to see them from.

Drinking: something to do while getting drunk.

People would have more leisure time if it weren't for all the leisure-time activities that use it up.

a celebrity is someone who no longer does the things that made him a celebrity.

I didn't learn for years that you generally find your Self after you quit looking for it.