Peas went with carrots as infallibly as ham went with eggs. For years I thought carrots and peas grew on the same vine.

It is important to remember that these are your Declining Years, in which you can jolly well decline to do what you don't feel like doing, unless not doing it would make you feel worse than doing it.

It isn't surprising that many children consider their parents to be a little dim, and that they sometimes try to update them. The fact that they don't usually try too hard is just as well; a thoroughly updated parent is an unappetizing sight.

the most all-around, practical, long-wearing illusions are the ones that you weave yourself.

You don't get over hating to cook, any more than you get over having big feet.

People would have more leisure time if it weren't for all the leisure-time activities that use it up.

Some people collect paperweights, or pre-Columbian figures, or old masters, or young mistresses, or tombstone rubbings, or five-minute recipes, or any of a thousand other things... My own collection is sunrises; and I find that they have their advantages. Sunrises are usually handsome, they can't possibly be dusted, and they take only a little room, so long as it has a window to see them from.