'Celebrity Apprentice' has more integrity and is the most straightforward show I've ever seen.

I was about 12 when I heard my first Lenny Bruce record. He was already dead. But it changed my life and really did change the world.

I do believe that a belief in God is crazy, but that doesn't mean that the people who believe in it are crazy. Those are two different things. Ideas can be stupid and crazy, and the people who hold those ideas are not necessarily stupid and crazy.

The vast majority of people who have guns never hurt anybody.

Bob Saget is the dirtiest comic who's ever lived. Nobody touches him.

A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.'

Everyday is an atheist holiday.