In my run-ins with Christians... I find that they really are good moral people. And we overlap on everything, and they don't seem to be the kind of people that are waiting to hear voices to tell them what to do.
Penn JilletteBefore you can read, you know the difference between a story and reality. And, of course, by the time you're old enough to do any real damage with an Uzi, you've learned that difference.
Penn JilletteYou donโt have to be brave or a saint, a martyr, or even very smart to be an atheist. All you have to be able to say is โI donโt knowโ.
Penn JilletteYou can't stop insane people from doing insane things with insane laws. That's insane!
Penn JilletteTeller and I worked Renaissance Festivals and street performing - actually more real, no kidding around, Philadelphia street performing than we did Renaissance Festivals.
Penn JilletteWe need a president who realizes that there's no government business in show business.
Penn JilletteExploration of space is worth it because humans need to explore. Knowledge is always good, and it's a really cool thing to see.
Penn JilletteIf you spend a lot of time lying to people, you think a lot about what the truth means.
Penn JilletteThe first thing I said to myself on 9/11 was, 'There go our civil rights.' I found out by comparing notes later that George Carlin and I both said that at the exact same time. That's the first thing that popped into our head.
Penn JilletteI have a very specific definition of censorship. Censorship must be done by the government or it's not censorship.
Penn JilletteI'm a hardcore libertarian - I want everything legal - but I also believe that you have the right to free association.
Penn JilletteYou have in Vegas the most heterogeneous audience you're gonna get anywhere in the country. In Boston, Chicago, Miami, you know who goes to the theater. In Vegas, you have people who only see one theater show a year, and it's in Vegas.
Penn JilletteYou can't believe how pro gay and pro freedom of speech I am. I'm way out beyond anyone on the Left.
Penn JilletteOnce you have somebody that is telling you, 'We are interpreting God for you,' it seems like you either agree or you don't. You either say, like Martin Luther, 'I'm going to have a direct relationship with the word of God,' or I''m going to go through a conduit of God on Earth,' which would be the Pope.
Penn JilletteIt wasn't success, because Teller and I, by the time Asparagus Valley got together - within a year, we had achieved all our goals. I mean, our goal was to earn our living doing exactly what we wanted. Which is many people's goal.
Penn JilletteHow I was brought up and my imaginary friend means more to me than anything you can ever say or do.
Penn JilletteEveryone's goals are the same with very small differences. I mean, the goal of a socialist and the goal of a libertarian are exactly the same. The goals are happiness and security and freedom, and you balance those.
Penn Jillette'Christian' used to be a throwaway word. People didn't used to use it much. People didn't start self-labeling or getting labeled Christian until the last part of the 20th century. Before that, you might identify as a Baptist, or a Southern Baptist or a Methodist. But there wasn't one identifier that put you in a fold with all the other believers.
Penn JilletteThat whole 99% thing, they are all in the 1% of the world. Every one of them pays a cellphone bill that is the yearly income for a family in much of the rest of the world.
Penn JilletteIf you believe that thereโs a heaven and hell and people could be going to hellโor not getting eternal life or whateverโand you think that, well, itโs not really worth telling them this because it would make it socially awkward. . . . How much do you have to hate somebody to not proselytize? How much do you have to hate somebody to believe that everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?
Penn JilletteTV networks are dying. The death throes of religion give us jihads. The death throes of television give us reality shows.
Penn JilletteBelieving there's no God means I can't really be forgiven except by kindness and faulty memories. That's good; it makes me want to be more thoughtful. I have to try to treat people right the first time around.
Penn JilletteEverybody is designing magic iPhone apps that do things that are really, really beautiful, but a really important thing about magic is that the gimmick has to be ugly.
Penn JilletteI have more contact with people who consume, for lack of a better word, my product than any other performers.
Penn JilletteOne thing you learn doing magic tricks for a living is how close every performance of every magic trick is to disaster. There are no robust magic tricks. They're all hanging from a thread - sometimes literally.
Penn JilletteIf I had to imagine omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent power in the universe that chose to make my mother suffer, I don't know how I would make that make sense in the universe.
Penn JilletteMy whole family is missing that sports gene. I hope I didn't screw that up by marrying a great golfer.
Penn JilletteThe vast majority of the world knows there's no reason to circumcise. Someone should tell the doctors.
Penn JilletteMy love of computers, besides being practical, is very direct and visceral. I love the way things look on the screen.
Penn JilletteA joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.'
Penn JilletteThe purpose of art is to collide the intellectual and visceral together at the highest speed possible.
Penn JilletteWe knew that we were kind of odd and creeps, and we wanted to do odd, creepy stuff for people who wanted to see that.
Penn Jillette