I was about 12 when I heard my first Lenny Bruce record. He was already dead. But it changed my life and really did change the world.

The only difference between Obama and Bush is that Obama is killing more people.

I don't travel in circles where people say, 'I have faith, I believe this in my heart and nothing you can say or do can shake my faith.' That's just a long-winded religious way to say 'Shut up.'

As much as I disagreed with every second of 'Fahrenheit 9/11,' the fact that it is out made me jump for joy.

Penn & Teller don't know jack about global warming.

Comedy is taken care of by a free market.

Every time something really bad happens, people cry out for safety, and the government answers by taking rights away from good people