I was about 12 when I heard my first Lenny Bruce record. He was already dead. But it changed my life and really did change the world.

I believe very much that the most damning thing you can say about Muslims is that you're afraid to say anything because they'll hurt you.

Atheism is the absence of religion. We don’t really need atheism. We just need to get rid of religion.

When I was a kid, politicians wanted to avoid talking about religion if they could. John F. Kennedy couldn't duck the issue, being Catholic and all. So how did he address it? By reminding Americans that religion shouldn't be an issue, that he was concentrating on big things like poverty and hunger and leading the space race.

The fact that the majority wants something good does not give them the right to use force on the minority that don't want to pay for it. If you have to use a gun, it's not really a very good idea. Democracy without respect for individual rights sucks. It's just ganging up on the weird kid, and I'm always the weird kid.

It's fair to say that the Bible contains equal amounts of fact, history, and pizza.

Juggling is very, very straightforward; very, very black and white; you're manipulating objects, not people. And that's always appealed to me.