I was about 12 when I heard my first Lenny Bruce record. He was already dead. But it changed my life and really did change the world.

Cheerios bring back memories. I actually don't think I ate them much as a kid, though; maybe it's some sort of Jungian memory, I don't know. But they have so much sugar, it's great.

If I go out to dinner with you and you order wine, I leave. I won't be around drugs and alcohol at all.

I don't think anything gives your life joy and meaning. I think your life simply has joy and meaning. The love for my children, the love for my parents and the love for my friends is the end in itself. The meaning is life.

Penn & Teller stopped doing practical jokes, and the reason is we got much too good at it.

I don't believe in vengeance. Really, when all is said and done, I probably don't believe in punishment.

I don't want anyone as president who promises to take care of me. I may be stupid, but I want a chance to try to be a grown-up and take care of my family.