If I go out to dinner with you and you order wine, I leave. I won't be around drugs and alcohol at all.

It wasn't success, because Teller and I, by the time Asparagus Valley got together - within a year, we had achieved all our goals. I mean, our goal was to earn our living doing exactly what we wanted. Which is many people's goal.

One of the strongest feelings you can get in life--one of the most rewarding feelings--is the feeling of an "Aha, I finally understand."

I'm not bothered by the idea of getting old, or I guess you could say by having arrived at old. I was 10 when my mom turned 55. For 1955, she was a very old mom.

Believing there's no God stops me from being solipsistic. I can read ideas from all different people from all different cultures. Without God, we can agree on reality, and I can keep learning where I'm wrong. We can all keep adjusting, so we can really communicate.

I intend to do the Penn & Teller show until they pry my cheesy magic wand from my cold dead fingers.

I believe very much that the most damning thing you can say about Muslims is that you're afraid to say anything because they'll hurt you.