There may be a point in your life in which you are drowning so fast and fighting it so furiously that you don't have the strength left to call out for help. At that point don't expect one of your friends to jump into the water, if you've spent most of your life instructing them to mind their own business.

Oscar Wilde said that the gods punish us in two ways: first, they don't give us what we want, then, they do. He forgot the third way: we finally see the cost of getting it.

There are two things in life that money cannot buy: health and happiness. Aside from that, it does an excellent job.

Have hot, wild sex with a friend. Then go out and do something stupid, like bowl, afterwards.

Realize that the banality around us that passes as "hipness" or "mass culture" is as satisfying as "mass food"-only it comes in much more unappetizing portions.

Be reckless in your intensities.

The lowest form of barbarism is smugly to berate someone for extending an act of kindness.