Although computers allow people to talk at the speed of light, no one talks that fast.

Don't waste your love on stupid people. Anyone stupid enough to deny or reject it-in the midst of the Love Depression we're in-does not deserve it.

Remember that that "rude awakening" which your parents and well-meaning relatives threatened you with as a kid is better than no awakening at all.

Start a conversation with someone with whom you have "nothing in common" and no possibility of scoring with, networking with, or even seeing again. In other words, a conversation just for the civilized hell of it.

Try to dwell on the people you'd like to love, instead of all the people you do loathe.

There may be a point in your life in which you are drowning so fast and fighting it so furiously that you don't have the strength left to call out for help. At that point don't expect one of your friends to jump into the water, if you've spent most of your life instructing them to mind their own business.

Have hot, wild sex with a friend. Then go out and do something stupid, like bowl, afterwards.