There are certain restaurants where you should photograph the food rather than eat it. These are great places to bring a narcissistic boyfriend before you break up.

Although some fools find rudeness sexy, it is never the path to seduction.

Falling in love with another man is like falling into a vast vat of yourself. For some men this is ultimately nourishing, for others . . . it is drowning.

Hold the door for an old man. Old ladies can take care of themselves; they've been doing it long enough.

Gays feel about popularity the same way teenage girls do. Is it that we really want friends we can count on, or do we just want guys around us whom we can share our curlers with?

Try to dwell on the people you'd like to love, instead of all the people you do loathe.

Still water does not only run deep. It runs dangerously.