I saw an advertisement the other day for the secret of life. It said "The secret of life can be yours for twenty-five shillings. Sent to Secret of Life Institute, Willesden." So I wrote away, seemed a good bargain, secret of life, twenty-five shillings. And I got a letter back saying, "If you think you can get the secret of life for twenty-five shillings, you don't deserve to have it. Send fifty shillings for the secret of life."

As I looked out into the night sky, across all those infinite stars, it made me realize how insignificant they are.

Now I tell you the downside of this is you feel awful, but the upside is you feel terrific.

I didn't know dirty words could be done that artfully.

I went to the University of Life and was chucked out.

Everything I've ever told you, including this, is a lie.

We exchanged many frank words in our respective languages.