You realize that suicide's a criminal offense. In less enlightened times they'd have hung you for it.

I didn't know dirty words could be done that artfully.

All in all I'd rather have been a judge than a miner. And what's more, being a miner, as soon as you are too old and tired and sick and stupid to do the job properly, you have to go. Well, the very opposite applies with judges. *

I would much prefer to be a judge than a coal miner because of the absence of falling coal.

I would like to like to make one thing clear at the very outset and that is, when you speak of a train robbery, this involved no loss of train, merely what I like to call the contents of the train, which were pilfered. We haven't lost a train since 1946, I believe it was - the year of the great snows when we mislaid a small one.

I went to the University of Life and was chucked out.

Now I tell you the downside of this is you feel awful, but the upside is you feel terrific.