I believe that the Jews have made a contribution to the human condition out of all proportion to their numbers: I believe them to be an immense people. Not only have they supplied the world with two leaders of the stature of Jesus Christ and Karl Marx, but they have even indulged in the luxury of following neither one nor the other.

I was irrevocably betrothed to laughter.

Unfortunately, a superabundance of dreams is paid for by a growing potential for nightmares

It's wrong to flog a man. It's against his being a man.

Sex is a conversation carried out by other means. If you get on well out of bed, half the problems of bed are solved.

Irrespective of nationality, soldiers are always open to the same discomfort and to the same comradeship the world over. I'll make things easy for you if you make things easy for me. That is, after all the unwritten law of the barracks.

Basically I'm a very serious person, but I think the form it takes with me is comedy. I see the amusing side of all potentially pompous situations.