It was about 5 years after I was baptized before the pull of sin finally stopped.

Temporary is all you're going to get with any kind of health care, except the health care I'm telling you about. That's eternal health care, and it's free... I've opted to go with eternal health care instead of blowing money on these insurance schemes.

To me, there is no such thing as a trash duck. There are ducks that are a lot better to eat than other ducks. But a duck is just that.

Women are a lot like ducks-they don’t like mud on their butts.

Whether it was hunting, fishing, or playing sports, my children were going to grow up outside. They weren't going to be sitting on the couch inside. At least they didn't grow up to be nerds.

Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men.

I kinda liked ol' Shakespeare and them guys, you know. I went back and got my master's just in case. I thought, if I ever needed it, I'd have the sheepskin to show people no matter how dumb I looked, actually I was about half intelligent. I got the degree to let 'em know I wasn't as dumb as I acted.