I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ

Crawfish have ding dongs and vaginas.

Fear God. Love your neighbor. And shoot ducks.

I turned from my wicked ways and embraced Jesus. The next thing I knew, good times had come my way.

I'm with the blacks, because we’re white trash. We’re going across the field … They’re singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, ‘I tell you what: These doggone white people’ - not a word!

Kids in America today are overweight and lazy, and it's their parents fault for letting it happen.

I make a mean pecan pie, and I have a great recipe for pralines - also using pecans. Pralines take a lot of patience, and patience is a must in the duck blind as well as in the kitchen. Good things come to those who wait.