I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I'm with the blacks, because we're white trash. We're going across the field.... They're singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, I tell you what: These doggone white people - not a word!... Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues.

Crawfish have ding dongs and vaginas.

You have to discipline your children, or they won't respect you, law enforcement or God or anyone else.

We were so poor as kids. I didn't even see a bathtub, running water, hot water, commode - we didn't have any of that. We started with a humble log house, milk cow, garden-raised our own food, killed a hog every year in the fall, and had the meat hanging up in the smokehouse - that was our childhood, me and ol' Si.

I repented at 28 and turned to Jesus.

If your woman picks your ducks, and she cooks and carries her Bible... now there's the complete package of womanhood.

I guess the GOP may be more desperate than I thought to call somebody like me.