No effort is required to define or even attain happiness, but enormous concentration is needed to abandon everything else.

The English think that incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.

The world now seems a stunningly ignoble place. It has not really grown all that much worse but appears to have done so because we know so much more about it than we did.

Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?'

As soon as a person takes a part as a homosexual, the press says, "What do your wife and children think of this?" And the actor never says, "Well, last week I was a murderer, and the week before that I was a child molester, and the week before that I was a lunatic. But now I'm a homosexual."

If you live in America, you don't have to work. You can just drift along in the smiling and nodding racket.