The worst part of being gay in the twentieth century is all that damn disco music to which one has to listen.

One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend.

As far as I know, you can fancy someone, you can enjoy their company or you can wish them well. But what being in love is, I don't know.

I asked a girl who came from America to England, when I was only English, and she admitted she had been to a drama school. And I said, "What did they teach you?" And she said, "They taught me to be a candle burning in an empty room." I'm happy to say she was laughing while she said it, but she meant it. I've never learned to be a candle burning in an empty room. So I go on the screen, and I say whatever I'm told to say.

It's a strange situation, but people will pay your fare to get you to go and tell them how to be happy.

The English think that incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.

Britain cherishes her eccentrics and wisely holds that the function of government is to build a walled garden in which anarchy can flourish.