Life is a game in which the rules are constantly changing; nothing spoils a game more than those who take it seriously. Adultery? Phooey! You should never subjugate yourself to another nor seek the subjugation of someone else to yourself. If you follow that Crispian principle you will be able to say Phooey, too, instead of reaching for your gun when you fancy yourself betrayed.

I was beaten up wherever I went, and people shouted at me and cursed me and threw things at me.

The war between the sexes is the only one in which both sides regularly sleep with the enemy.

You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.

That's the only sense in which I've been lucky: I have the kind of face to which cosmetics could be applied.

I never really found out what love was.

Masturbation is not only an expression of self-regard: it is also the natural emotional outlet of those who...have already accepted as inevitable the wide gulf between their real futures and the expectations of their fantasies.