If love means anything at all it means extending your hand to the unlovable.

If I were God - and I never understand why I'm not - I should say, "Shop around, I don't think you'll find a better bargain than here."

If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe directed by Mr. Roger Corman, it could not fully express the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of the average family.

While I have very little to say in favor of sex (it's vastly overrated, it's frequently unnecessary, and it's messy), it is greatly to be preferred to the interminable torments of romantic agony through which two people tear one another limb from limb while professing altruistic devotion.

The absolute nothingness of death is a blessing. Something to look forward to.

It is true that in America I've become a national hero, but really I was a hopeless case, that was all.

To my disappointment I now realized that to know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.