The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.

America believes in freedom. The English don't believe in it. They don't believe in happiness.

Did you know that Allah promises you a seat in Paradise if you kill a Christian?

To minimize my guilt at going to the pictures - to call this wanton pursuit of an effete pleasure by another name - I needed movie companions as drunkards need drinking partners. If I entered a cinema alone, God might plunge his arm through the roof of the auditorium booming in a stereophonic voice, 'And you, Crisp, what are you doing here?' I would never have dared reply, 'I'm just enjoying myself, Lord.'

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.

Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone - but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding.

Every day someone notices me and waves to me, or stops and speaks to me, or asks me for an autograph, or photographs me.