What better proof of love can there be than money? A ten-shilling note shows incontrovertibly just how mad about you a man is.

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.

Quentin Crisp (to handsome young man on the street): "What's the matter, sexy? Don't you like dehydrated fruit?

Ask yourself, if there was to be no blame, and if there was to be no praise, who would I be then?

It may be true that artists adopt a flamboyant appearance, but it's also true that people who look funny get stuck with the arts.

To live in the past is to miss today's opportunities and tomorrow's blessings.

You don't have to deal with anyone in America. They accept you the way you are.