Why do we have to wait for special moments to say nice things or tell people we care about them?

The key is to commit crimes so confusing that police feel too stupid to even write a crime report about them.

That's the thing about marriage. It's a shell game we play with ourselves. We're the suckers and we have to lose, but we play anyway because we lie to ourselves that we can win.

In the end, we decide if we're remembered for what happened to us or for what we did with it.

Success only hurts the first time.

Things aren't magically better if that's what you're hoping for. It's not that simple.

Nothing like a lot of exercise to make you realize you'd rather be lazy and dead sooner.