You make me understand how wonderful it is for little lizards when they find that one special rock that's perfect for sunning themselves on. You make me lizard-happy.

Death likes it when you play hard to get.

Could you imagine how horrible things would be if we always told others how we felt? Life would be intolerably bearable.

Why do we have to wait for special moments to say nice things or tell people we care about them?

Lies are like children. If you don't nurture them, they'll never be useful later.

That's the thing about marriage. It's a shell game we play with ourselves. We're the suckers and we have to lose, but we play anyway because we lie to ourselves that we can win.

Think of life as a giant, fat cat you're in charge of. Sometimes you can control it, but other times, it's going to do what it wants and you have to roll with it. And sometimes you can do everything - everything you're s'posed to do- and it'll still shred all the things you hold dear... The only thing you can really do with life is rub its belly and prepare for the worst.