You make me understand how wonderful it is for little lizards when they find that one special rock that's perfect for sunning themselves on. You make me lizard-happy.

Nothing like a lot of exercise to make you realize you'd rather be lazy and dead sooner.

Ed Wood served a great purpose - mainly making writers feel better about their work.

The only way to be truly misogynistic is to be a woman.

Sometimes the measure of friendship isn't your ability to not harm but your capacity to forgive the things done to you and ask forgiveness for your own mistakes.

That's the thing about marriage. It's a shell game we play with ourselves. We're the suckers and we have to lose, but we play anyway because we lie to ourselves that we can win.

The grass is always greener once you don't have to mow a lawn anymore.