I don't like programming. It's tedious.
When the world becomes standard, I will start caring about standards.
I'm not a real programmer. I throw together things until it works then I move on. The real programmers will say Yeah it works but you're leaking memory everywhere. Perhaps we should fix that. I'll just restart Apache every 10 requests.
PHP is rarely the bottleneck.
I actually hate programming, but I love solving problems.
PHP is about as exciting as your toothbrush. You use it every day, it does the job, it is a simple tool, so what? Who would want to read about toothbrushes?