When I was little, I met Ronald Reagan. I think I said something to him.

Every joke is either taken by ads or The Simpsons. It's all about being able to get your ideas out into the universe.

When I was little, I met Ronald Reagan. I think I said something to him. He was talking about somebody - he said somebody was like the Clint Eastwood of something, and I said, "I thought he was the Arnold Schwarzenegger," or "more like Arnold Schwarzenegger." He just looked at me like I was crazy. He didn't know what I was talking about.

I used to steal pens at the store. Back in the day when you would write checks, I would write a check and use the pen, and I would keep the pen.

You can do law with a law degree. You can't do anything else.

I guess the most interesting thing that people think is I'm English. They think that I live in England and have a British accent. When they talk to me, at first they go, "Man, you have a great American accent," and I go, "No, no, no, this is my accent. I don't do accents." And then they're really disappointed, and they try to punch me.

I missed the day in school where you subtract all the zeros. Let's say you subtract 10,000 minus 89. I never got the fact that you go next door and borrow a cup of coffee, and the zero changes to nine. For the longest time, I didn't know how to do it. I still to this day have been affected, and it was just one day they taught it. I was too afraid to say, "Why? What's going on with the zeroes?" So for the longest time, I thought that was a conspiracy.