Women say they want a man who knows what a woman's worth. That's a pimp.
As an American, I'd like to apologize - for everything.
FOOVIEW (foo' view) n. The ability of a dog to inflict guilt from any angle in the room while he watches his master eat.
Ignisecond, n.: The overlapping moment of time when the hand is locking the car door even as the brain is saying, "my keys are in there!"
In Montana, a policeman will pull you over because he is lonely.
A hotel mini bar allows you to see what a can of Pepsi will cost in twenty years.