As an American, I'd like to apologize - for everything.

FOOVIEW (foo' view) n. The ability of a dog to inflict guilt from any angle in the room while he watches his master eat.

Ignisecond, n.: The overlapping moment of time when the hand is locking the car door even as the brain is saying, "my keys are in there!"

In Montana, a policeman will pull you over because he is lonely.

As an American, I'd like to apologize - for everything.

Foxes are rats in expensive coats. What are foxes associated with? Evil, wily, conniving, duplicitous, Fox News - worst news service on the planet and the evilest.

Women say they want a man who knows what a woman's worth. That's a pimp.