Let me make sure I have this straight. The cavalry just now rode into town and it's a Czech Gypsy porn-star zombie killer. Have I got that right?

Don't drink too much." "When I can spell out your name in shot glasses, I'll stop." "I'll have to get a shorter name." "I'll have to forget how to spell it.

Enemies will kill you with a knife in the back. Friends will kill you with kindness. Either way you're dead.

Don't talk. Kill it." That might be the sweetest thing a woman's ever said to me on a first date.

In this life, no matter what anyone promises you, what allegiances of love or fealty they swear or what gods they pray to, you will never have more than what you have at this moment.

When you jump off a cliff, is it better to land on jagged rocks or burning lava? I know this one. The answer is obvious: It doesn't matter where you land. You just jumped off a cliff.

Try not to sing too many sad songs for yourself. The universe already hates you. Self-pity isn't going to help.