Writing is the hardest way of earning a living, with the possible exception of wrestling alligators.

If you think there are no new frontiers, watch a boy ring the front doorbell on his first date.

If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it.

Bulls and bears aren't responsible for as many stock losses as bumsteers.

Inheritance taxes are so high that the happiest mourner at a rich man's funeral is usually Uncle Sam.

What a pity human beings can't exchange problems. Everyone knows exactly how to solve the other fellow's.

A man who won't lie to a woman has very little consideration for her feelings.