Someone called all the newspapers in New York and told them I'd died. I've been told by almost everyone it was an ex-wife - I've had a few so it's hard to pinpoint which one - but who knows for sure?

I know that if I wasn't scared, something's wrong, because the thrill is what's scary.

I'd like to make you laugh for about ten minutes though I'm gonna be on for an hour.

I ain't no movie star, man. I'm a booty star.

I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, I wanna grow up and be a critic.

I went to Zimbabwe. I know how white people feel in America now; relaxed! Cause when I heard the police car I knew they weren't coming after me!

I became a performer because it was what I enjoyed doing.