Someone called all the newspapers in New York and told them I'd died. I've been told by almost everyone it was an ex-wife - I've had a few so it's hard to pinpoint which one - but who knows for sure?

Have you ever noticed how quiet you get when you go in the woods? It's almost like you know that God's there.

If I thought about it, I could be bitter, but I don't feel like being bitter. Being bitter makes you immobile, and there's too much that I still want to do.

So after Another You I ran off to my very own piece of paradise, my home in Hana.

I ain't no movie star, man. I'm a booty star.

There are only two pieces of pussy you're gonna get in your entire life, that's your first and your last.

Crosses only scare vampires away because they're allergic to bullshit.