I had to stop drinkin, cuz I got tired of waking up in my car driving ninety.

A sold-out house my first night back. Do you have any idea what kinda pressure that is? I could have been at home in my warm bed, playing Nintendo.

I don't want them hip white people coming up to me and calling me no n - - or telling me n - - jokes. I don't like it.

The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.

I just don't want to die alone, that's all. That's not too much to ask for, is it It would be nice to have someone care about me, for who I am, not about my wallet.

Someone called all the newspapers in New York and told them I'd died. I've been told by almost everyone it was an ex-wife - I've had a few so it's hard to pinpoint which one - but who knows for sure?

If you ask me about women's lib, I say I don't even know what that is.