Corporation: a miniature totalitarian state governed by a hierarchy of unelected officials who take a dim view of individualism, free speech, equality and eggheads. The backbone of all Western democracies.

We're still just the world's premium brand of ape.

Math anxiety: an intense lifelong fear of two trains approaching each other at speeds of 60 and 80 MPH.

Communism: Liberation of the people from the burdens of liberty

Corporation: a miniature totalitarian state governed by a hierarchy of unelected officials who take a dim view of individualism, free speech, equality and eggheads. The backbone of all Western democracies.

POWER: The ability to make our fellow humans squirm, sweat and stammer on command. Often regarded as an aphrodisiac; actually a potent laxative that, whenever ingested by people in high places, causes everyone below to run for cover.

CHILDHOOD: The rapidly shrinking interval between infancy and first arrest on a drug or weapons charge.