To complain about critics in a business is like a sailor complaining about the waves. Go back to the beach if you don't like it.

I'm basically a 'do unto others' type person. I don't have any religious feelings because I'm an atheist, but I live my life like there's a God. And if there was he'd probably love me.

When someone thanks God, I don't get offended.

I think, as a comedian, the funniest you can be is with people you know, and [whom] you've known for years, in a pub. That's as funny as you get, and so the aim [while stand-up] is to get that funny on stage with 5,000 strangers, to get that funny in a room where people shouldn't be listening but they are.

I'm quite squeamish, really. I'm philistine and unsophisticated - not because of my great discerning palate but other reasons. Some are moral grounds, some texture.

Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.

I use people's real voices because I want realism. So often I mention the actors' physicality because I want it to be like a real documentary.