Why buy a book when you can join a library?

My ideal meal would probably be the cheesiest pasta or pizza, followed by something creamy and chocolaty. I mean, just the worst things, really.

I think, as a comedian, the funniest you can be is with people you know, and [whom] you've known for years, in a pub. That's as funny as you get, and so the aim [while stand-up] is to get that funny on stage with 5,000 strangers, to get that funny in a room where people shouldn't be listening but they are.

I never had a plan. I just sort of ambled along, doing exactly what I wanted every day of my life.

Opinions don't affect facts. But facts should affect opinions, and do, if you're rational

The simple fact is, offense is taken, not given.

Try something. And never be afraid to fail. That failure is useful too. It's just another building block.