When I got [my] library card, that was when my life began.

Put your money in your head, that way no one can take it from you.

Sex is a pleasurable exercise in plumbing, but be careful or you'll get yeast in your drain tap.

Why can't peace be a single overriding common purpose: why do we wait for a crisis to pull us together? Let's pull together for peace.

I think in the years to come what Reagan will be remembered for is that he had the chance to stop the plague and he chose not to because the 'right people' were dying.

[A pariah is] something like a martyr with more suffering and less class.

He unzipped his pants and his brains fell out.