Book tours are like boot camp but with little sleep and less food.

Once you know what women are like, men get kind of boring. I'm not trying to put them down, I mean I like them sometimes as people, but sexually they're dull.

Humor comes from self-confidence.

The last thing I have to say is that ice is the past tense of water. I've always wanted to write that sentence and now I have.

Normal is the average of deviance.

Where there is no faith, devils are a necessity.

Gambling operates under the premise that greed can be satisfied by luck.