Any woman whose I.Q. hovers above her body temperature must be a feminist.

Why marry a woman if you're going to betray her, and if you're going to betray her, why beat her? The fault is not hers ... I sometimes think the worst we do, we do behind closed doors.

I am a comic writer, which means I get to slay the dragons, and shoot the bull.

I earned two Emmy nominations for writing, and two of the shows I had written were nominated for best in their category.

Whoever heard of a neurotic frog? Where do humans get off thinking they're the pinnacle of evolution?

No one remembers her beginnings. Mothers and aunts tell us about infancy and early childhood, hoping we won't forget the past when they had total control over our lives and secretly praying that because of it, we'll include them in our future.

Divorce: fission after fusion.