I get all of my comedy from CNN.

I just want to do cool stuff.

I touched an Oscar once. Friend of mine has one, for writing. As soon as I touched it, he said, Now you'll never win one.

My mother was very, very Protestant. I grew up Presbyterian, and I went to church every Sunday until I was 18. I was forced to.

My job was basically to look at a good friend completely naked and rub lotion on her back. I was naked too, but I got to put a towel on almost immediately. So I was like, "Well, this is going to be embarrassing, but it's also going to be kinda awesome."

Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out the next day.

The show is a satire, which gives us freedom to do anything we want. Satire is the magic word that wipes away any culpability. The media is jealous of this freedom.