I have a wife and two daughters; people who depend on me. Everything is more important than it was when I was 20. But now I'm like, "Eh, I made it this far."

Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out the next day.

Apparently it's cool to watch The Daily Show.

I always fancied myself more of an actor than a comedian before I realized that only assholes make that kind of distinction.

I was going out for absolutely everything that was in Backstage.

This limited theatrical release was a nice little bonus that I never expected.

I touched an Oscar once. Friend of mine has one, for writing. As soon as I touched it, he said, Now you'll never win one.